A Father’s Heart
“How do you handle it?” I cannot count the number of times I have been asked that
question or one similar to it. From the time Becky was first diagnosed with cancer
that question has been echoing in my ears. I have thought much about the answer
to that question. I share my answer now because I believe that some facing similar
tragedies in life may benefit from what I have learned. I could possibly write a
book in telling all that I wish to share of Becky’s life for she lived a lot in
her 37 years, but I will try to be brief. I have shed my share of tears and perhaps
even more than my share. For weeks and months I found myself weeping on the way
to and from work as I thought of Becky’s pain and how unfair it seemed for her to
have to leave this life without experiencing many of the joys a wife and mother
usually have. She would not get to share her children’s graduations from school,
the joy and agony of sending her children off to college, the weddings, the grandchildren
and thousands of other joys we take for granted. However, in the midst of all my
tears I would constantly be reminded of three absolute truths.
The first absolute truth is that God can heal. For me this statement is not some emotional crutch to get me past a crisis in life nor is it just a theological doctrine void of practical application. The God whom I serve is the God who created this universe and all that is in it. He created life with all its complex systems: the chemical, physical and the emotional facets of life which man has only begun to explore. If God can create life he surely can cure those diseases that threaten to destroy life. In the Bible we find many instances where Jesus did just that. He made the blind to see, the deaf to hear, the leper to be made clean, and even the dead to rise. My wife and I along with thousands of others spent many hours in prayer for Becky. I thank those of you who joined us in praying and remind you that although Becky is no longer with us our prayers were not in vain for we have all been brought closer to God. God chose not to heal Becky in this life but I believe with all my heart that he could have.
The second absolute truth is that God loves me. This love is not just a love for mankind as a race. Although it is true that he loves all of mankind it is also true that he loves me individually. This great truth is taught throughout the scriptures. Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount pointed out that God would care for us more than an earthly father would care for his children. I remember when my children were small there would be times they would need medical attention. If they got a cut or scraped their knee they would come running and crying. Often there would be tears and crying as they got a shot or had a small wound cleaned but they trusted that I would do what was best for them because I loved them. So I have learned to run to God for He knows what is best and He does love me. If God can heal- and He can and God loves me-and He does, yet he chooses not heal then that must be best. I do not understand it any more than my children understood why it was best to have a needle poked into their arm or the medicine that stung pored on their wound. It was best but they could not understand it. I must trust God to do what is best even when I do not understand. One of Becky’s favorite songs expresses His love this way:
No one ever cared for me like Jesus,
There’s no other friend so kind as He,
No one else could take the sin and darkness from me,
O how much he cared for me.
The third absolute truth is that I will go to Heaven when I die and thus I will see Becky again. I do not say this because I have been a good person or because I am a Baptist. The Bible is very clear that a person can know they are going to Heaven. 1 John 5:13 reads “These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.” The Bible is also clear about how a person can get to heaven. It is not by being a good person. Ephesians 2:8,9 says, “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”
To get to Heaven you must first realize that you are a sinner and thus on your way to Hell.
- Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;”
- Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
You must also accept the fact that Jesus, Gods only begotten Son, died on the cross to take your penalty for you.
- Romans 5:8 “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
Finally you must place your trust in Jesus as your hope for Heaven.
- Romans 10:13 “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
You can know for sure you are going to Heaven but it does not depend on your being good. It does not depend on the Baptist church or any other church. It does not depend on baptism or any other church ordinance. It depends on believing (trusting) in Jesus and Him alone. In John 14:6 Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” Becky gave testimony of having trusted in Jesus as her saviour. I too have placed my faith in Jesus therefore I know I will see her again some day.
This life is very short whether you have only thirty seven years as did Becky or eighty to ninety years as many do in modern times. Whatever time you have it will soon be gone. The Bible says in James 4:14, “Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.” Since Becky’s passing I have often thought about how short life is. I just had my 65th birthday. I may live another ten years but I don’t know that. I had a heart attack five years ago that could have been the end of my life. My life could end with another heart attack today. Whatever time I have left it will soon be gone and whatever time you have left will soon be gone. Perhaps you are facing a tragedy in your life, maybe you knew Becky or maybe you found this page by surfing the net. In any case please consider where you will spend eternity. If you have never trusted in Jesus as your Saviour trust him today. You can say a simple prayer such as the following:
Dear Jesus I know I am a sinner and according to the Bible the penalty for that sin is Hell. I believe that you love me and died for me on the cross. I now accept you as my Saviour and ask you to forgive my sins and take me to Heaven when I die. Amen.
Just saying a prayer will not get you to Heaven but if you are sincere as you call on Jesus to save you He will do as He promised. If you do ask Jesus to save you after reading this I would like to know. Please send a note here.
So how do I handle it? With tears? Yes, lots of tears but also with the knowledge
that my God who loves me and could have kept Becky in this world, chose not to do
so. Therefore it must be best. One day God will wipe away all tears and I will walk
on streets of gold with Becky. We do not know all about Heaven and what it will
be like but that does not make it less real. We know little about other planets
compared to earth but that does not make them less real. One day soon I will leave
this world and go to Heaven to be with Becky. I hope you will join us someday for
I would love to introduce you to my wonderful daughter.
Jim Swaffer- Father of Becky Prater
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